Sponge bath it is.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
