i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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