FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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