If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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