it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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