Jerry, you need to find god
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize