He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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