need another drink. this is the easiest way
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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