sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You were trust falling into bushes
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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