Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
