Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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