false alarm. still invincible.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
