There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
