she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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