just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
