The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize