smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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