seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
