The maid of honor just puked.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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