He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
