dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
