YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
