Sponge bath it is.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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