In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
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