oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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