Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
