At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
