i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
only if we run a train.
done.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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