On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize