Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
