READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
