so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize