living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
