I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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