I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
