You can't special order awesome
the day after is always just damage control
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
