his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
