I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
