When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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