I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
