Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
