My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
