just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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