Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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