He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
