so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
