Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
