I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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