good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
