So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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