why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My dick has a subreddit
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
