"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize