i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My penis needs a shock collar
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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