I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
