just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize