if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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