Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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