He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
porn star boner night. come get it.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize