I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
