I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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